


Detention

by face_yourself (wayward_stranger)



Series: BTS Hogwarts AU [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Harry Potter AU, Hogwarts, Hogwarts AU, Hufflepuff!Jimin, OT7, One-Shots, Other, Ravenclaw!Taehyung, Short Stories, Slytherin!Yoongi, bts - Freeform, bts hogwarts au, gryffindor!Seokjin, hufflepuff!hoseok, ravenclaw!namjoon, slyhterin!jungkook, the boys but in hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-03 14:18:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14570826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayward_stranger/pseuds/face_yourself
Summary: Just a bunch of one-shots and stories about BTS but in a Hogwarts AU. Requests for stories and one-shots are open!





	1. Detention (pt. 1)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for deciding to have a look at this new one-shot collection. At the moment, I'm working on a one-shot series about the boys trying to break out of detention but I also have other self-insert one-shot ideas coming up. Of course, I'm free to take requests if you guys have any cool ideas about what I can write about. I also post my stories and other BTS Hogwarts AU headcanons in my tumblr blog @btshogwartsauheadcanons 
> 
> Also, I'm a bit rusty when it comes to writing so it may not turn out so good the first few times :P.

“Hey, Hoseok! Hoseok!” Seokjin yelled to catch his friend’s attention. At the moment, Hoseok was training with Jimin, his underclassmen and fellow Hufflepuff, by passing the quaffle to each other across the Quidditch field. Hoseok caught the quaffle just in time before looking up at Seokjin hovering above on his broomstick.

“What is it? Tired already?’ Hoseok grinned playfully. 

"Yeah! Maybe our old man needs a rest!” Jungkook, another first year from Slytherin, laughed as he zoomed by on his own broomstick while chasing after a snitch.

“I’m NOT tired!” Seokjin yelled back at the maknae who simply cackled and kept right on his task. Both Hoseok and Jimin laughed along with Jungkook. Seokjin often got on their nerves with all his corny dad jokes and Jungkook, the young first year with the power to get on the oldest hyung’s nerves, was practically a godsend. 

“Sorry, what were you saying hyung?” Hoseok asked once he stopped laughing. 

“Do you want to sneak out to Hogsmeade on Saturday?” Seokjin said. 

“Hey hyung, did you forget that we have detention?” Hoseok frowned. 

“Yeah, but after detention,” Seokjin shrugged. “I heard there’s a new café opening up and you know how I feel about new cafes.” 

“That sounds good,” Hoseok nodded. “We can use the secret exit Yoongi-hyung showed us.” 

“I just hope detention ends early,” Seokjin sighed.

“You got into detention, hyung?” Jimin looked up at him quizzically before doing one of his superhuman tosses that sent the quaffle flying across the field. Seokjin couldn’t help but feel a bit scared about how nonchalantly Jimin did that. 

“Aish, really?” Hoseok sighed and ran after the quaffle before catching it with relative ease. Seokjin couldn’t help but feel scared of Hoseok too for being able to catch that kind of toss. ‘Man, these guys are monsters,’ he thought to himself.

“I got into detention because of these devilishly good looks,” Seokjin winked at Jimin who burst out laughing.

“Don’t listen to him,” Hoseok shook his head and tossed the quaffle back at Jimin. “We both got into detention for sneaking to the kitchen in the middle of the night.”

“Ah, that sounds like something you two would do,” Jimin said.

"If you’re in detention you’re going to be gone for the whole day,” Jungkook butted in, hovering on his broomstick next to Seokjin with the golden snitch he was previously chasing already clasped in his hand. “Especially if you’re with Filch.”

“Seriously?” Seokjin and Hoseok groaned at the same time. 

“We wouldn’t be here if you didn’t bring up that idea,” Hoseok chided his friend.

“Hey, you got hungry too!”

“Yeah,” Jimin nodded in agreement with Jungkook. “Last time we were in detention, Filch made us sweep, mop, and polish the entire Great Hall.”

“Can’t we just pretend to be sick?” Seokjin asked. 

“Nah, Filch is just going to make you go to Madame Pomfrey to confirm if you really are sick,” Jungkook shook his head. “Taehyung did that and Filch made him wash the windows too.”

“Speaking of which…” Jimin said as Taehyung, a first year Ravenclaw and Jimin and Jungkook’s close friend, came bounding into the Quidditch field.

“Guys! We got to go to Hagrid’s! Right now!” he said excitedly, despite the fact that he looked as if he just escaped a burning building.

“Why are your clothes burnt?” Hoseok frowned.

“And you smell like sulfur,” Seokjin added. 

“Blast-ended skrewts,” the three first years chorused, with Taehyung sounding noticeably more excited than the rest. Seokjin and Hoseok glanced at each other once and decided not to ask any questions.

“One of them started molting!” Taehyung continued with a big grin on his face. “Come on! You guys gotta see!" 

"Alright,” Jungkook shrugged and landed on the grass before dismounting his broom. He and Jimin were pretty much used to following Taehyung’s creature research expeditions with Hagrid, one of their favorite professors. Both Jungkook and Jimin agreed that they weren’t the safest activities but they were pretty awesome to do. Either that or they just couldn’t say no to Taehyung. 

“I hope Hagrid’s got some protective clothing of some sort,” Jimin said worriedly before setting down the quaffle he was holding on the grass.

“No problem. Hagrid’s got oven mitts,” Taehyung said. 

“Nothing to worry about,” Jungkook said sarcastically. Seokjin and Hoseok exchanged worried glances.

“I can protect you Jungkookie,” Jimin teased.

“I think Hagrid has aprons too,” Taehyung added. “But they might be too big on us.”

“It will be especially huge on Jimin,” Jungkook snickered. Both he and Taehyung laughed while Jimin kicked them.

“Hey, be careful with those blast-ended squorms,”  Hoseok said.

“Skrewts,” Taehyung corrected him.

“Yeah, whatever that is.”

“We will,” Jungkook and Taehyung nodded before heading off.

“And make sure you get back to the castle in time for dinner!” Seokjin yelled after them.

“You know that might not be possible,” Jimin sighed. “Well, see you two later. I hope detention isn’t so bad,” he added before finally leaving. 

"I guess that’s our cue to leave,” Hoseok shrugged as Seokjin landed on the grass and dismounted his broom.

“I still can’t believe we’ll spend a whole day in detention tomorrow,” Seokjin grumbled as the two of them walked back to the castle. “I better cancel plans with Yoongi.”

“Oh, hyung is in detention too,” Hoseok laughed.

“Him too?!” Seokjin exclaimed. “What for?”

“Guess,” Hoseok raised an eyebrow.

It didn’t take long for Seokjin to pinpoint the answer. “He was caught skipping class and playing piano in the Room of Requirement, right?”

“Give the handsome guy a prize.”

"Aish, that boy,” Seokjin shook his head. “I guess that makes three of us in detention.”

“Do you think we can get Namjoon in detention too?” Hoseok wondered.

“You know just as well as I do that he’s miles away from detention,” Seokjin chuckled.

…

‘You know, this could get you in detention,’ Namjoon’s inner self chided him. 'Going to the library’s Forbidden Section AND sneaking out in the hallways at night? That’s a double whammy for sure.' 

“But it’s all worth it if you don’t get caught…” Namjoon whispered to himself as he walked down the aisles of bookshelves in the Forbidden Section with the tip of his wand just barely illuminated in order to see the book titles. During Divination class earlier, Namjoon overheard a pair of Gryffindors talking about a so-called “Marauders’ Map” used by some Gryffindors in the past, including the legendary Harry Potter. Apparently the map showed the entire Hogwarts and Hogsmeade location, as well as the people and where they are. The map was supposed to be enchanted as well to make it look like blank parchment until the right words are said out loud. It was pretty much the Google Maps version of Hogwarts, but magic. This was enough to pique Namjoon’s interest but he was disappointed to here that it was lost.

'So why not make a new one?’ he figured. It may seem crazy. Making a map like that surely required some advanced magic, which is why Namjoon turned to the library. But since none of the books there had anything on that kind of magic, he suspected that there was a book about it in the Forbidden Section. After all, anyone who would make a “Marauders Map” would probably have taken stuff from the Forbidden Section as well.

“Advanced Charms: Enchanting Objects…” Namjoon read the book spine title quietly out loud. That sounded like something he needed. Just as he was about to scan the shelf for other similar books, the sound of approaching footsteps interrupted his actions.

'Shit! You’re done for now!’ Inner Namjoon yelled. Namjoon quickly pulled the book he found off the shelf and turned out the light from his wand.

“Who’s there?!” Filch rasped. Namjoon stayed still and hoped to god Filch didn’t have supersonic hearing. But then with him, anything was possible. After a while, Namjoon heard some muttering and the sound of footsteps leaving the library. He sighed in relief, tucked the book he snitched under his sweater, and began to tiptoe back out of the library. But then just as he was about to leave the room scot-free, his foot somehow caught on the edge of a table, making him stumble forward and land face-first on the floor.

“Ah-HA!!” he heard Filch yell just a few short seconds after. Namjoon pushed himself up, wondering if Filch had supersonic speed as well, to find Filch grinning with glee in front of him, shining a lamp in his face. “You’re going to be in real trouble for being caught here.” Namjoon groaned and stood up. 

“Fine, fine. I’m going back to bed,” he said, walking away until Filch grabbed a hold of shirt collar and pulled him back

“Not so fast,” he sneered, wagging a finger in front of the student’s face. “Being caught at night and in the Forbidden Section means detention for you." 

'Double whammy, told you so…’ Inner Namjoon muttered. Namjoon winced. So he is going to end up in detention after all. He’s never been in detention except for those times when Seokjin, Hoseok, and Yoongi somehow dragged him into it. Also Taehyung at some point. 

"Tomorrow, bright and early,” Filch said, poking a finger at Namjoon’s chest with every word he said. “If you arrive late and skip out, that’s double detention for you.”

“Bright and early…” Namjoon repeated and nodded his head, already tired all of a sudden. Detention on a Saturday of all days. 

…

“Geez hyung, hurry up! Filch is going to kill us if we’re late,” Hoseok urged Seokjin who was still finishing his breakfast. Seokjin looked up at him with a look that said 'I’m not leaving until I finish my breakfast’ which Hoseok returned with his own 'Yeah, but whether or not you had breakfast won’t matter if Filch kills us in the end’ look. Seokjin sighed, grabbed the piece of toast he was finishing, and got up from the breakfast table. 

“Do you think Filch will let us have a lunch break?” Seokjin asked as the two of them walked out of the Great Hall and down a flight of stairs.

“Is that really all you can think of right now?” Hoseok sighed. “You just had breakfast.” 

“Don’t lie. You’re thinking about that too." 

"The more you think about it, the hungrier you get,” Hoseok argued, silently agreeing with his friend when he felt his own stomach beginning to rumble. The room Filch instructed them to go to was just near the Slytherin common rooms. When Hoseok and Seokjin entered, they were greeted with stacks and stacks of parchment scrolls and letters. The two looked at each other and groaned simultaneously.

“I guess no lunch break then,” Seokjin sighed and sat down on one of the few chairs among the piles. 

“Shouldn’t that be the least of your worries?” Hoseok suddenly jumped when he saw Namjoon emerge behind him at the doorway.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Seokjiin asked before grinning mischievously. “You got into trouble too, didn’t you?”

“Filch caught me last night at the Forbidden Section of the library,” Namjoon sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

“Aww… now we’re one big happy family,” Hoseok gushed. “When Yoongi arrives that is.”

“Isn’t the Slytherin common room nearby?” Namjoon frowned and sat down on a chair next to Seokjin.

“Yeah, but you know how much he sleeps on a Saturday,” Seokjin shrugged.

“Yoongi-hyung was probably playing piano all night,” Hoseok reasoned.

“Or he’s just sleeping a lot like usual,” Seokjin shrugged.

“Well, speak of the devil,” Namjoon grinned once their missing friend walked in, still rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“More like dementor,” Yoongi mumbled and slumped down on one of the chairs inside. His hair was a mess and his clothes practically looked like they were thrown on. Hoseok chuckled and sat down next to him. 

“Sleep well, hyung?” he joked.

“Not enough to have the energy to last through this detention,” Yoongi sighed and looked around him. “Looks like we’re going to have fun.”

“At least we’re together, it could be worse,” Seokjin shrugged just as they heard voices outside the room.

“Come on Filch–”

“It’s Mr. Filch to you!”

“ _Mr. Filch_. Sorry, maybe we could have detention some other time this week?”

“Yeah! Like at 25 pm on April 42!”

“Shut it and get in you three!”

“I know that voice,” Namjoon frowned.

“It’s Jungkook,” Yoongi said, frowning just as not only Jungkook, but Jimin and Taehyung as well burst into the room.

“You guys too?!” Hoseok said in surprise. “What did you do?” he laughed. 

“Ask Taehyung,” Jungkook and Jimin chorused as they sat down.

“I THOUGHT I saw a bowtruckle,” Taehyung pouted. “I was going to give it to Hagrid." 

"He would have appreciated it,” Jimin comforted him.

“You came back late from the Forbidden Forest again, didn’t you?’” Yoongi raised an eyebrow at Jungkook.

“We always come back late. We just got caught this time,” Jungkook whispered while Yoongi smirked and shook his head.

“Alright, listen up! All of you!” Filch rasped, the seven students looked up at him. “See all these scrolls and papers here?”

“Kind of hard to miss,” Yoongi mumbled, causing his friends to snicker. Filch glared at them before continuing. 

“I want everything to be sorted out based on the date it was sent into those boxes,” he said, pointing to the stack of empty boxes in the back. “By date, you understand? And I want it all done by the end of the day." 

"That doesn’t seem so bad,” Namjoon shrugged, seeing that there were seven of them.

“Good,” Filch sneered. “There’s more in here in case any of you get bored,” he said, opening a door behind him and revealing a room stacked to the ceiling with even more scrolls and papers. Everyone in the room besides Filch groaned.

“You just had to jinx it,” Seokjin said. 

“Question!” Jimin raised his hand. “What if we need to go to the bathroom?”

“Down the hall,” Filch pointed. “But if you think of sneaking off, all of you are in detention again next week.” He sneered before adding “The upstairs bathrooms need plumbing.” Jimin gulped and put his hand down. “And I don’t want to hear any yelling coming from this room.”

“What if the room catches fire?” Jungkook spoke up. “I mean with all the paper here, that’s bound to happen." 

"Yeah, shouldn’t we be able to yell if that happens?” Yoongi added, immediately catching on to his underclassman’s plan.

“Well I–” Filch began before being cut off by Hoseok.

“What if a hippogriff crashes through the window?" 

"Yeah, I heard Hagrid unleashes Buckbeak on Saturdays,” Taehyung added, grinning at his hyung.

“What if the merpeople decide to attack the castle?" 

"Yeah, and what if they somehow got the giant squid to walk on land too?”

“What if a rouge Bludger comes in?" 

"Or aliens!” 

"SHUT UP!” Filch yelled and the seven of them quickly shut their mouths, quite pleased at achieving the desired effect. “None of that is going to happen. Now all of you shut up and get to work. I want everything in their boxes by evening.” he growled.

“Easy,” Namjoon shrugged and pulled out his wand only for it to be snatched away by Filch.

“No magic!” he sneered. “All of you, hand over your wands now!” The rest of them grumbled and handed them over to Filch. “Now that that’s taken care of,” the man grinned, “You seven better get to work.” And with that, he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

“Well, you all heard the man,” Namjoon sighed, pushing up his glasses before looking through a stack of papers.

“If we’re lucky, we’ll finish sorting through all of this before the school year ends,” Jimin added and set to work along with the rest of them.

“Look, there’s someone whose last name is ‘Bratwurst’,” Jungkook snickered, holding up a sheet of parchment.

“Let me see!” Seokjin and Jimin said as they crowded around Jungkook.

“What an unfortunate family,” Jimin shook his head in mock sympathy. 

“I can’t stay here,” Taehyung groaned. “Guys we need to find a way to bust out.”

“You heard Filch. If we do that we’ll have detention against next week,” Namjoon said, not looking up from the stack of papers he was sorting.

“You heard about the toilets too,” Jimin added.

“Well, maybe we can fit Jungkook through that small window there,” Taehyung answered, pointing at a window on the upper right wall that seemed just big enough for one person to crawl through.

“Oh! Then he can somehow get to Filch’s office and get our wands back,” Hoseok said. “You’re a genius Taehyung!!!” he grinned and high-fived his underclassman.

“On it!” Jungkook nodded as he began rolling up his sleeves. 

“That window leads to a network of tunnels in the dungeons area,” Yoongi interrupted him. “If you go in you probably won’t be able to find your way out.” He was standing in front of one of the bookcases at the far end of the room, pulling the books out one by one.

“What are you doing then?” Seokjin asked.

“I’m not wasting my Saturday here, that’s what I’m doing,” Yoongi answered. “We’re busting out.”

“Wait hyung, you mean there’s–” Hoseok sat up excitedly.

“There should be a secret entrance around… here!” Yoongi pulled a book out and suddenly, the bookshelf slid to the side, revealing a passageway through the wall.

“Whoa!!!” everyone exclaimed.

“Genius Slytherin Min Yoongi strikes again!!” Hoseok cheered while Yoongi smirked and admired the praise.

“I knew Yoongi-hyung was going to find a way out for us,” Jimin said proudly.

“We’ll still need to get our wands back from Filch though so we can pack everything here,” Seokjin said.

“That’s not going to be easy,” Taehyung pouted.

“Don’t worry,” Namjoon smirked and adjusted his glasses. “I’ve got a plan.”

“Namjoon-hyung is going into Smart Anime Character Mode!!” Jungkook exclaimed.

“I speak five languages and that is none of them,” Seokjin said. Jungkook grinned.

“All you need to understand is that we’ve simply got one hell of a Namjoon.” 


	2. DETENTION (pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of "Detention" in which Namjoon is an awkward nerd while being the man with the plan, Jungkook shows his scaredy-cat side, and Jimin can’t seem to get a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter! Sorry this took some time I was writing in the midst of finals and all that good stuff. But alas, here it is! Hope you guys like it.

“So what’s the big plan?” Seokjin asked, turning to Namjoon. The seven of them were standing in a circle in front of the secret entrance that Yoongi just magically discovered. Even if the seven of them did try to escape through that exit, they still had to make sure to get Filch’s task done by the end of the day too. That was exactly why everyone was looking at Namjoon, the man with the plan, expectantly.

“Well, what is it?” Yoongi pressed when Namjoon kept silent.

“Shh… can’t you see he’s still in the Zone?” Taehyung shushed him.

“The Zone?” Jimin frowned.

“You know, the ‘Serious Thinking Zone’”, Taehyung explained.

“That’s what you call it?” Seokjin. “We call it the 'Genius Namjoon Mode.’” Taehyung mulled the name over for a bit before shaking his head.

“'The Zone’ sounds cooler,” he decided. “Short but sweet.”

“Like Jimin?” Jungkook and Hoseok chorused before high-fiving.

“Shut up!” Jimin moaned and gave each of them a kick in the shins. 

“Yoongi,” Namjoon suddenly spoke up, causing everyone to turn attentively to him. “This passageway leads to the floor above us, right?" 

"Yeah,” Yoongi nodded. “Near Snape’s potion ingredient storage." 

"Professor Snape probably enchanted the lock on his storage so that it only opens with the key he uses,” Namjoon muttered. “An _Alohomora_ charm won’t work." 

"Would lock-picking work?” Jungkook raised his hand.

“That… should work,” Namjoon mulled it over. “Assuming Professor Snape doesn’t add any other enchantments to the lock." 

"Wait… Why do you know how to lock-pick?” Hoseok frowned. 

“Because I always forget the combinations for the locks I use,” Jungkook laughed sheepishly.

“And you leave your keys everywhere too,” Jimin added.

“If push comes to shove, there’s a secret entrance that leads into Snape’s potion storage too,” Yoongi said. “There’s one behind the portrait next to the storage entrance. But it’s a very narrow passageway and you’ll be exiting from a hatch in the ceiling inside the storage room.”

“That’s good enough, at least there’s a back-up method,” Namjoon nodded. “Alright, the plan is we’re going to divide ourselves into three groups–”

“I call Hoseok!” Seokjin interrupted him, raising his hand in the air.

“No way! You got me into detention!” Hoseok protested.

“I’ll be deciding the groups,” Namjoon deadpanned. “Seokjin, you’ll be with Yoongi. Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung will form the second team." 

"Alright!” Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung cheered and high-fived. 

“We’re probably the dream team, right?” Hoseok grinned.

“No, you guys are the clumsy team,” Namjoon said, causing the three members of the second team to pout. “Jungkook and I will form the third team.”

“Namjoon’s clumsiness makes up for two people,” Seokjin elbowed Hoseok. 

“Expect your life expectancy to lower significantly,” Yoongi patted Jungkook’s shoulder sympathetically.

“Whatever, I’m with the man with the plan,” Jungkook shrugged.

“That’s right,” Namjoon nodded. “Jungkook and I will go through the passageway and then break into Professor Snape’s storage room.”

“Do you have a death wish?” Jimin gasped.

“Now I really expect my life expectancy to lower…” Jungkook sighed worriedly.

“I’ll need some potion ingredients to make a big enough distraction to lure Filch away,” Namjoon explained. “Jungkook can do the lock-picking and I know the exact ingredients to take. And if we need to use the secret entrance, I’ll just tell Jungkook what to get.”

“What do we do?” Jimin asked, gesturing at himself, Taehyung, and Hoseok. 

“You guys are the diversion,” Namjoon said. “After Jungkook and I leave, Hoseok, you will have to go to Filch and tell him that Taehyung and Jimin are messing around in the room. Then, Filch will come back here to find that Taehyung and Jimin really are messing around.”

“Ah, Namjoon’s plan really is smart,” Seokjin nodded. “You’re playing with what Filch is expecting to happen.”

“That’s why I always beat you at chess,” Namjoon smirked. Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Anyway, once Filch sees that Taehyung and Jimin are messing around, he’ll take them with him to his office.”

“Why do we get dragged to his office?” Taehyung and Jimin protested.

“You could say that you drew the 'short’ straw,” Jungkook laughed and elbowed Hoseok.

“If you joke about my height one more time you’re going to get it Jeon Jungkook,” Jimin fumed and kicked his friend in the shin again.

“Wait, I have a question,” Yoongi raised his hand. “How do we deal with Filch when he finds that you and Jungkook aren’t in the room?”

“That’s where you and Seokjin come in,” Namjoon answered. “You two stay in the closet while Filch is here. And when he asks where we are, Hoseok will say that we were busy sorting in the closet since we were bothered by the other three." 

"That sounds like us,” Yoongi nodded.

“Then, once Filch leaves with Taehyung and Jimin, Yoongi and the others will enter the passageway to meet me and Jungkook. Hopefully, we’ll have the potion made by then,” Namjoon continued. “After that, we’ll cause a commotion in the upper floor using the potion. There needs to be a lot of us to distract Filch. Once he hears the noise outside, he’ll leave Taehyung and Jimin in the office. The two of you then have to find our wands in time and then we’ll all meet in the second floor by the stairs to make sure that all parts of the plan went well.”

“And then we’ll head back here and sort everything using our wands, right?” Seokjin said.

“Yup,” Namjoon nodded. “But then Jimin and Taehyung have to make it back to the office before Filch does and return our wands." 

"Sounds like a plan,” Yoongi nodded.

“Our genius Namjoon-hyung really is the best,” Hoseok grinned.

“Yeah but there’s so much to remember and do,” Taehyung groaned. 

“I’ll help you out, we’re together for most of the plan,” Jimin said. “And besides, it sounds fun.”

“It’s better than sorting all of these things,” Jungkook added, kicking at a box of scrolls.

“You’re right,” everyone chorused.

“So, are we all in?” Namjoon asked, looking at them expectantly.

“Let’s all hang out at the Three Broomsticks after this is done,” Jimin grinned.

“Yeah! Team huddle guys!” Hoseok exclaimed and threw his arms around Yoongi and Seokjin on either side of him. 

“Do we have to?” Yoongi frowned.

“Team huddle!!” everyone else cheered, ignoring Yoongi and pulling him into the huddle.

“Do a pep talk Hoseok-hyung,” Jimin said.

“Why me?” Hoseok laughed. “Namjoon-hyung’s the one with the plan.”

“Nah, I’m going to say something lame,” Namjoon laughed. “And besides, since I came up with the plan you have to come up with the pep talk.”

“Fine,” Hoseok smiled and shook his head before glancing at everyone in the huddle. “Before us, so many other Hogwarts students have ended up in the unfortunate clutches of detention. So I guess we’re not that unique. But we’re also special because we are one of the few trying to break out instead of doing what’s required of us.”

“Doesn’t that make us seem like the bad guys?” Jimin wondered out loud.

“We’re not bad if we’re going against Filch,” Jungkook said. Jimin mulled that over before nodding in agreement.

“And with the help of Namjoon’s brain and all of our own strengths, we will be able to get out of detention,” Hoseok said.

“And get butterbeer afterwards,” Yoongi added.

“And get butterbeer afterwards.”

“Maybe we should have a group name,” Taehyung suggested. 

“Do we really need that?” Yoongi sighed.

“Let’s think about it after we get out of here,” Seokjin said. “After we have our butterbeer.”

…

Namjoon had no idea what the smell around him was, and no matter how hard he tried to pinpoint it, he ultimately decided that ignorance was indeed, bliss. The fact that he’d been stepping on puddles of _something_ did nothing to alleviate his nerves though. 

“Hyung, be careful,” he heard Jungkook speak up ahead. “I think there are stairs in front of me– Yup, these are stairs." 

"I would kill to have a flashlight right now,” Namjoon sighed as he used his feet to feel around for the steps. With his right hand against the cold, stone wall beside him, he began climbing up.

“Ah!” Jungkook suddenly yelled.

“Wh- what is it???” Namjoon exclaimed in surprise. “Is there something there? Did you get hurt?" 

"…My hand touched something gross on the wall…” Jungkook said. 

“Oh,” Namjoon sighed in relief. “Well, keep going I guess. I think we should be pretty close." 

"Yeah…” he heard Jungkook sigh before the sound of his footsteps indicated that he continued to climb the stairs. The two of them were silent for quite a while with only the sound of their footsteps echoing through the passageway. The silence made Namjoon feel a bit awkward. Even though he wasn’t much of an extrovert, he was a pretty talkative person who hated long, uncomfortable silences when there was another person around. 

'Yes, walking alone in a dark passageway to steal stuff from Professor Snape’s storage room is the _perfect_ time to have an engaging conversation,’ Inner Namjoon said. Namjoon mentally shooed him away and racked his brains for a good sentence to start a conversation, which, apparently was:

“What do you think the smell here is?” As soon as those words left his mouth he wanted to slam his head against the wall.

“The smell?” Jungkook repeated. Namjoon could practically hear the 'What the hell is this crazy hyung saying?’ behind his voice.

“…Yeah…” Namjoon persisted nonetheless.

“It kind of smells like an acromantula cave,” Jungkook answered. “Yeah, it does kind of smell like an acromantula cave." 

"You’ve _been_ to an acromantula cave?” Namjoon repeated, not feeling comforted at all by the response. Instinctively, he turned to look over his shoulder, only to find more darkness behind him that may or may not be filled with acromantulas. 

“Yeah, with Taehyung and Jimin,” Jungkook answered. “Jimin didn’t like it so much though." 

"I can imagine,” Namjoon shivered as his wand automatically went to his jeans pocket to grab his wand before realizing that it was with Filch. But instead of a wand… he felt the familiar slim, rectangular weight of…

“MY PHONE!” he yelled suddenly, mentally smacking himself for not remembering sooner. 

“You have a phone?!!!” he heard Jungkook exclaim. Namjoon pulled the gadget out of his pockets and turned it on. The light from the screen of his phone softly illuminated his face and Jungkook’s right in front of him.

“Sweet, sweet technology,” Jungkook sighed. “Hey, is that an LG phone too? I have one just like it!" 

"It sure has all the best features that a phone needs. It’s even better than an Iphone!” Namjoon grinned before switching on the torchlight feature. 

“That’s much better,” he said as the two of them continued climbing the stairs, this time with a bit more speed and confidence. 

“Ah, hyung. This would have made everything so much easier before though,” Jungkook said.

“Sorry, I don’t use it so much here so sometimes I forget I even have it,” Namjoon apologized. 

“How are you able to charge it?” Jungkook asked.

“In the Room of Requirement,” Namjoon explained. “If you wish for an electrical outlet, and if your phone actually has low battery, it appears on the wall.

"Damn, I should have done that sooner,” Jungkook said. “Oh wait, I think I see the entrance up ahead! Can you shine your light up there, hyung?”

“On it,” Namjoon replied and walked up, shining his torchlight at where Jungkook was pointing. True to what he said, there was a rectangular outline of light right in front of them that could only be the exit Yoongi was talking about. The two of them practically scrambled up the stairs, Namjoon almost slipping in the process, before arriving at the upper landing. 

“On three,” Jungkook said as the two of them braced their hands against the door. “One… two… three!” The two of them pushed against the concrete wall with all their strength. Namjoon couldn’t tell if it was just him, but Jungkook seemed to be three times stronger than he was despite his size. Finally, the huge door budged open and swung to the side. The two stepped out into the familiar hallway on the second floor and found the door to Professor Snape’s storage room right beside them and the gleaming padlock on the door. Jungkook and Namjoon both looked at each other and grinned. 

“Time to get to work,” Jungkook said. 

…

“Filch! Filch!” Hoseok yelled as he ran to Filch’s office. He burst in without warning and saw the caretaker seated at his desk and checking Mrs. Norris for fleas. Before Hoseok had the chance to look even remotely disgusted, Filch quickly swept his beloved cat away and glared at the intruding student.

“What?! What do you want?!" 

"Um… uh…” Hoseok stammered, trying to remember what Namjoon instructed him to do a while ago, before finally realizing it. “Taehyung and Jimin! They’re messing around in the classroom instead of doing what you told them to do,” he said.  A look of fury washed over Filch’s face before he frowned at Hoseok in suspicion.

“Since when were you a tattletale? Isn’t that Jimin boy your friend?” he sneered, standing up and walking slowly towards Hoseok. 

'Oh shit, he’s on to me!’ Hoseok mentally panicked. 'Quick! What would Namjoon say!?’

“The… floor wax… is getting… rubbed off?” he stammered, instantly regretting the words once they came out of his mouth. 'What the hell was that?!’ he mentally yelled at himself before seeing the color practically drain from Filch’s face.

“Not the floor wax…” he whispered. “NOT THE FLOOR WAX!" 

Before Hoseok could say anything, Filch practically stormed outside of his office in the direction of the classroom everyone else was in. Hoseok smiled, gave himself a pat on the back before following behind. By the time he reached Filch, he was standing in the middle of the room holding onto both Taehyung and Jimin by each arm. Papers were scattered across the floor as well from when the two first years were "messing around." 

"Sorry Filch–” Taehyung protested.

“That’s Mr. Filch to you!” Filch interrupted.

“Sorry Mr. Filch, we won’t do this again!”

“Yeah! Taehyung started it when he said we should have a paper airplane fight!”

“Aish, I really told you two to listen to Mr. Filch,” Hoseok sighed and shook his head in mock-sympathy. Jimin caught his eye and winked as he pretended to struggle against Filch’s grip.

“Hold on now…” Filch paused and looked around the room. “Where are the rest of you?” he scowled and suspiciously shot glances at Taehyung and Jimin before landing on Hoseok. 

“The uh… the closet!” Hoseok stammered.

“Namjoon-hyung said he was bothered by us making a mess,” Taehyung piped up. “So he and the others locked themselves in the closet.”

“They’re really concentrating on 

"Well, we’ll see about that,” Filch said, shoving the two first years away before walking to the closet.

“No Mr. Filch! Namjoon-hyung really hates it when you disturb his… sorting,” Taehyung protested.

“And Yoongi-hyung barely had any sleep today so–" 

"Shut up!” Filch cut off Jimin. “I know something fishy is going on here and I’m going to get to the bottom of it!” He shoved the two first years away and began to stomp towards the closet door. 

'Please, please don’t screw up Yoongi-hyung, Seokjin-hyung,’ Hoseok prayed. Filch stopped in front of the door and began to turn the knob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was sponsored by LG Electronics. Make life good. LG electronics, appliances and mobile devices feature innovative technology and sleek designs to suit your life and your style.
> 
> Follow my tumblr blog [@btshogwartsauheadcanons](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/btshogwartsauheadcanons) for more BTS Hogwarts AU goodness!
> 
> Also I hope you guys had a L I T comeback day!


	3. Detention (pt. 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Seokjin channels his inner Namjoon, Yoongi attempts to be a millennial, Jungkook exercises his secret ninja skills, and Hoseok becomes the real MVP.

“I hear footsteps…” Seokjin whispered, looking wide-eyed at Yoongi beside him. “I think Filch is heading right over here!”

“We better make this convincing then,” Yoongi grumbled. He really did not want to get out of bed today. It was a Saturday after all, his day for sleeping and playing piano all day. But then again, if the mission Namjoon thought through failed, Yoongi will surely have to sacrifice his next Saturdays for more detention time.

“Mr. Filch! You don’t have to go in, everyone else is in there for sure!” he heard Jimin yell from outside the door.

“Then if everyone’s inside, it won’t hurt if I took a look then,” Filch replied as he resumed trying to open the door.

“Quick! Do something Namjoon would do,” Yoongi hissed at Seokjin.

“Um… uh…” Seokjin stammered. “Namjoon-ah! Watch out for that box there!” he yelled before slamming himself onto one of the boxes on the ground.

“S-sorry! I’m such a klutz!” Seokjin yelled again but in a much deeper voice that Yoongi could only describe to be a bad imitation of Namjoon’s.

“See! Namjoon’s inside too!” Yoongi heard Taehyung yell.

“Quick, your turn!” Seokjin hissed back at him. “Say something Jungkook would.”

‘Okay, something Jungkook would say…’ Yoongi thought to himself. ‘You’re around that crazy kid so much, you should at least know something.’

“J-Jungkook-ah! Don’t throw that empty box!” Yoongi yelled before switching his voice to a higher-pitched one. “T-this bitch empty! YEET!”

“What the heck was that?!” Seokjin hissed.

“I don’t know, Jungkook says it all the time!” Yoongi argued.

“We’re so screwed,” Seokjin groaned. Just then, the sound of crashing was heard on the other side of the door followed by Filch yelling.

“KIM TAEHYUNG! IF YOU THROW ONE MORE CHAIR I’LL—”

“DETENTION SUCKS! LET’S GET OUT GUYS!” This time, it was Jimin who was yelling.

“Are they trying to get themselves double-killed?” Seokjin asked.

“They’re trying to distract Filch even more,” Yoongi observed.

“That’s it! You two are coming with me back to the office!” Filch yelled. The sound of Jimin and Taehyung’s protests were heard again and then footsteps before everything fell quiet again. Yoongi and Seokjin waited anxiously for what was going to happen next when they heard knocking on the door.

“Yoongi-hyung, Seokjin-hyung, the coast is clear,” Hoseok spoke. Both Seokjin and Yoongi breathed out a sigh of relief before opening the closet door and leaving the room.

“Man, I was so scared,” Seokjin exclaimed. “I thought Filch was going to get us for sure.”

“Kudos to Taehyung and Jimin’s quick thinking for sure,” Hoseok grinned. “What’s the next part of the plan again.”

“If things are running smoothly, Namjoon and Jungkook should be breaking into Professor Snape’s storage room right now,” Yoongi answered. “We’re supposed to meet them upstairs after a while.”

“Hopefully nothing goes wrong like it did with us,” Seokjin sighed.

…

“Can’t you go any faster?” Namjoon pressed as he watched Jungkook slowly picking the lock on Professor Snape’s storage room. The longer he stood watching, the more he felt as if the scary Potions Professor was going to come around any moment.

“Lockpicking takes time, okay?” Jungkook protested as he used a screwdriver to slowly turn the lock.

“Professor Snape will be here any moment!” Namjoon argued.

“Just a few more turns and… there!” Jungkook exclaimed as the lock clicked open. The padlock fell to the ground and began to emit a high-pitched whistle. Namjoon and Jungkook jumped back.

“What the hell is that noise?!” Jungkook yelled as he covered his ears with both hands.

“Professor Snape must have cast a Charm on the lock to have some kind of alarm system!” Namjoon answered. “He’ll be coming back soon! Get to the secret passageway Yoongi-hyung talked about! And take my phone too so you have some light!” Namjoon reached into his pocket and tossed Jungkook his LG phone.

“What about you?” Jungkook asked.

“I’ll distract Professor Snape so you better hurry. You remember what ingredients I told you to get, right?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded. Suddenly, the lock stopped sending the noise. Jungkook stopped covering his ears just in time to hear the sound of footsteps coming down the hallway.

“GO!” Namjoon yelled. Jungkook gripped his phone tightly before going to the portrait next to the storage room. He lifted it slightly from the wall and saw a hole in the wall big enough for him to crawl through. ‘Thank you, Genius Slytherin Min Yoongi,’ Jungkook silently prayed before lifting his body into the hole.

‘It’s up to you now, Jungkook,’ Namjoon bit his lip worriedly. He picked up the lock and clamped it back in place. ‘Okay, now I just have to pretend that the lock just fell off and I—’

“Mr. Kim Namjoon,” the sound of Professor Snape’s famously passive-aggressive voice jolted Namjoon from his thoughts… and caused him to scream maybe a little.

“Oh! P-professor!” Namjoon stammered and adjusted his glasses which fell off a little during his shock.

“What do you think you’re doing breaking into my storage room?” Professor Snape narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “For a Ravenclaw, you seem to not know what locks are used for.”

“I-I know what locks are used for… sir,” Namjoon swallowed.

“Then tell me,” Professor Snape took a step towards him. “Why did I just hear my lock alarm going off?”

“Well, I was just wondering… what kind of lock you use..?” Namjoon stammered.

“What kind of lock I use?”

“Yes sir. I’m very interested in… locks,” Namjoon said. “And I wanted to see what kind you would use for your own potion ingredient storage room. I mean, there must be some valuable stuff in there so you’d probably use a pretty good, durable lock but the one you use is pretty interesting to have some sort of alarm system because of the Charm you used which I could guess, based on how it works, is some kind of—”

“Your incessant rambling is wasting my time,” Professor Snape waved him off with a sneer. He pushed Namjoon aside and waved his wand while uttering a few words. The padlock glowed bright red before turning back to normal. “Now, Mr. Kim Namjoon, if you’re done inspecting this lock, it would do you some good to leave my sight. Now.”

“Yes Professor!” Namjoon nodded and scampered away to hide behind a wall. From behind it, he saw Professor Snape eye the door of his storage room before walking away.

…

“Ow!” Jungkook exclaimed, rubbing the painful bump on the back of his head. Yoongi told him about the secret passageway but he didn’t really tell him how small it was. Jungkook had bumped his head several times already as he crawled through. ‘Well, at least it’s not totally dark here,’ he thought to himself as he held out Namjoon’s LG phone to shed some light on the path ahead. Ahead of him, he spotted a fairly large, square-shaped hole on the ground.

“That must be the entrance!” Jungkook said excitedly and began to crawl faster. As soon as he reached the hole, he shoved Namjoon’s phone in his pocket and lowered himself down the hole. The floor of the storage room was much farther than he thought but he landed on his feet without much of a sound anyway. Outside the door, he could hear Namjoon-hyung with Professor Snape. It was hard to miss his passive-aggressive tone. ‘Just stall for a while longer, hyung,’ Jungkook bit his lip worriedly and began using Namjoon’s LG phone to illuminate the labels of boxes on the shelves.

“Okay… Flubberworm slime… Dung Beetle shells… Mandrake fertilizer… Salamander eggshells,” Jungkook muttered as he stuffed the potion ingredients into a giant sack he found lying around in the storage room. Once he finished, he tossed the sack up into the hole he came from. Then, he used one of the large crates in the room as a stepping block to climb up to the ceiling, through the same hole, and back into the passageway.

“Mission: success!” Jungkook grinned to himself as he crawled back to the entrance.

…

“Where is he??” Namjoon muttered to himself as he paced the hallway in front of the portrait worriedly.

“Maybe a box of lionfish spines accidentally fell on him?” Inner Namjoon said worriedly.

“No way, Jungkook’s smart and coordinated. That won’t happen to him,” Namjoon explained.

“Hey! I’m back!”

“AH!” Namjoon yelled in surprise and turned around to find Jungkook crawling out of the hole from behind the portrait.

“I got all the ingredients you told me to get,” Jungkook said, tossing the sack over to Namjoon. “Do you need a cauldron to brew that potion?”

“I’m not brewing it,” Namjoon shook his head and inspected the contents of the sack. True enough, Jungkook got everything.

“So… what are you making then?” Jungkook asked curiously.

“Well… it’s basically a giant stinkbomb made from a bunch of stuff mixed together,” Namjoon said. “But… worse.”

“Awesome!” Jungkook grinned and high-fived Namjoon. “You better teach me that.”

“Sure thing!” Namjoon smiled back. “We just need to wait for Seokjin-hyung and the others to come here.”

“Good luck to them going through that passageway we went through,” Jungkook snickered. “I bet they’re all screaming right now.”

…

“OH MY GOD I THINK SOMETHING BRUSHED PAST MY LEG!”

“SHIT I FEEL IT TOO!”

“SHUT UP YOU TWO I’M SURE THAT’S NOTHING BUT NOW I’M STARTING TO FEEL SOMETHING TOO!” Yoongi yelled at his friends walking behind him. ‘Come on Yoongi, the Slytherin common room is just as cold and dark as this is,’ he tried reasoning with himself. But that would be a lie. The Slytherin room was way better than this passageway. Even though people often said that he didn’t look like he was scared easily, Yoongi was pretty jumpy himself when it came to loud noises and such. But right now, his two annoying best friends were making a racket.

“I really wish we had our wands right now…” Seokjin grumbled as the three of them climbed up the steps in the dark.

“And a gas mask or something,” Hoseok added.

“You can say that again,” Yoongi agreed. The steps were slippery, the walls were slippery, and there was a smell all around them that Yoongi didn’t even want to think about either. ‘I wonder how Namjoon and Jungkook survived this?’

“Hey, isn’t that an exit right there?” Yoongi heard Hoseok speak up. Seokjin climbed up further to stand beside Yoongi.

“You’re right! I think that’s the exit!” Seokjin exclaimed excitedly.

“Alright!” Yoongi cheered and began walking up faster while trying not to slip on anything at the same time. Then, he came to the top of the stairs which had a wall blocking the way. Light shined around the edges which meant that it could only be a doorway.

“Finally! We can get out of here!” Hoseok cheered.

“Okay, let’s all push at the same time,” Seokjin said. Yoongi nodded and placed his hands against the door. Beside him, he felt Hoseok and Seokjin do the same thing. “3…2…1… PUSH!” The three of them pushed against the door which swung outwards immediately, leaving them to fall through on the floor.

“Light! At last!” Seokjin exclaimed.

“There you are!” Yoongi looked up to find Jungkook and Namjoon staring down at them. “We’ve been waiting for you for forever,” Jungkook said.

“Shut up! That tunnel was not easy to go through,” Seokjin protested as he stood up and dusted himself off.

“You could say that again,” Namjoon grinned.

“I bet there were snakes there too!” Hoseok added. “I swear, something slithered by legs a few times.”

“That’s just your imagination, hyung,” Jungkook chuckled.

 “Anyway, did you guys get what you needed?” Yoongi asked as he stood up.

“Yup, all here,” Namjoon said, shaking a sack in front of them.

“Show me how to make that stinkbomb hyung!” Jungkook said excitedly.

“Stinkbomb?” Hoseok and Seokjin chorused.

“But worse,” Namjoon said.

“That’ll make Filch leave his office,” Yoongi nodded.

“So… how do we make it?” Jungkook asked. Namjoon crouched down on the floor and began pulling the packs of ingredients out of the sack.

“Alright, watch and learn,” Namjoon cracked his knuckles. Everyone else began to form a circle around him as well. “The first thing you put is mandrake fertilizer, a whole lot of it,” he said as he tore open the bag and poured all of its contents into the sack.

“God, that smells gross,” Hoseok wrinkled his nose. Yoongi coughed and covered his nose from the stench.

“Mandrakes are pretty gross too,” Jungkook said, his voice sounding nasally since he was pinching it closed too.

“Then, add the dung beetle shells and the flubberworm slime. A whole lot of both too,” Namjoon said as he added the two ingredients. Those ones didn’t smell as bad. “Lastly, the salamander eggshells. But add those when you want to detonate the bomb.”

“We’ll need to do this over the stairwell then,” Seokjin said. “It’s better if it lands in the lower floor than this one so it’s nearer to where Filch is. And after causing a commotion here, we’ll be closer to our rendezvous spot afterwards.”

“Good thinking,” Namjoon nodded and stood up. The five of them then made their way to the stairwell. Namjoon added a couple of the salamander egg shells into the sack and began shaking it vigorously. Not long after that, the bag began to smoke and shake.

“Shit! It looks like there’s something alive in there!” Jungkook exclaimed.

“We’ll need to throw it far down onto the floor downstairs. Right near where Filch’s office is,” Yoongi said, pointing to a ledge downstairs near the right wall.

“Care to do the orders, Captain?” Namjoon grinned and handed the bag over to Hoseok.

“You got it,” Hoseok grinned and took the bag.

“We’ll have to scatter once the bomb lands,” Namjoon said. “And cause more of a commotion. But we meet up at the stairwell like we planned, okay?”

“Alright,” Hoseok nodded. He looked downstairs and then at the stinkbomb potion thing in his hand. “Here goes nothing then…” Then, he hurled the sack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want more BTS x Hogwarts AU stuff? Follow me at [@btshogwartsauheadcanons](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/btshogwartsauheadcanons)


	4. Detention (pt. 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter! 
> 
> In which Jimin becomes the Wands Keeper, Taehyung almost gets first-borns named after him, and Filch can't seem to get a break either.

“So, you two think that it’s funny to mess everything up while I’m not around?” Filch said, sneering at both Jimin and Taehyung seated in front of his desk. “You two thought that you wouldn’t get in trouble for it, did you?”

“Is that a rhetorical question?” Taehyung piped up.

“Shut it!” Filch snapped. “Now, it seems I can’t trust you two in the room with others so you’ll be staying here for the rest of the detention period. Doing nothing.”

“That doesn’t sound so—” Taehyung spoke up before being elbowed by Jimin. “I-I mean, no way! It’s going to be so boring!”

“Yeah! Please put us back there with the others!” Jimin whined.

“Not a chance!” Filch grinned. “For you two, I guess doing nothing is punishment in itself. So, you two are going to stay here until your friends are finished packing up, which should take at least eight more hours, while I keep watch. No talking. No moving. No fighting. And no loud noises. Got it?”

“Yes Filch,” Jimin and Taehyung chorused.

“It’s Mr. Filch!” Filch snapped.

“Yes Mr. Filch!” Jimin and Taehyung repeated.

_BOOM_

Jimin jumped in his seat at the loud noise outside. Filch frowned and hurried over to the door. ‘Could it be the others?’ Jimin wondered. It was about time for their hyungs and Jungkook to act out the next part of the plan anyway. Jimin watched carefully as Filch opened the door of his office just as The Worst Smell Jimin’s Ever Smelled wafted in.

“It’s a stinkbomb!” Taehyung whined and wrinkled his nose.

“Seems like more students want to get in trouble today,” Filch growled. “You two stay here!” he pointed at Taehyung and Jimin before slamming the door behind him and locking it shut.

“That must be our hyungs,” Jimin said. Taehyung nodded and sat up. “We need to find the wands quickly!”

“It should be in his desk or something…” Taehyung said and they both began frantically searching Filch’s desk drawers. “Hey!”

“What? Did you find the wands?” Jimin asked.

“No, but I found our collection of Dung Bombs that Filch confiscated,” Taehyung grinned and held them up. “I’ll bring these with us just in case,” he added and stuffed them into his pocket. Jimin shook his head and laughed as he continued searching. He opened one of the drawers near the floor and searched through more confiscated items, one of which was a Fanged Frisbee which he decided to keep as well. As he neared the bottom of the drawer, Jimin found seven wands that could only have belonged to him and his friends.

“Found it!” he cheered, holding the seven of them up.

“Alright!” Taehyung cheered alongside him and grabbed his wand. Jimin took his as well and pocketed the rest in his cloak.

“We should go now to reach them in time,” Jimin said. Taehyung nodded and the two of them walked to the door.

“Ahh, he locked it from the outside,” Taehyung said as he jiggled the doorknob.

“Hold on,” Jimin pulled out his wand and waved it in front of the lock. “ _Alohomora!”_ The lock clicked and Taehyung swung the door open. Outside, Jimin could smell The Worst Smell Ever in full blast. Apart from that, there seemed to be some orange-colored smoke wafting about. Students were running around with their noses covered and Jimin could hear Filch yelling angrily in the distance as well.

“Namjoon-hyung sure is merciless,” Taehyung said with his nose covered as well.

“Alright, let’s get to the stairs,” Jimin said. The two of them ran past the orange smoke, still being careful to listen to where Filch was based on his yelling, and up the stairs to the next floor.

“God Namjoon, that stinks!”

“Well, we needed a distraction, didn’t we?”

“Isn’t that—” Jimin paused as he heard the voices arguing upstairs.

“It’s them!” Taehyung grinned excitedly and ran up the stairs two at a time while Jimin followed. “Hyung! We’re back!” he yelled. The two of them reached the landing of the stairs and found the rest of their friends hiding behind a wall on the other side.

“Hey! It’s Taehyung and Jimin!” Hoseok grinned and stood up as his underclassmen ran towards him.

“Did you guys bring the wands?” Seokjin asked.

“We did!” Jimin said and pulled everyone’s wands out of his pocket and gave it to them.

“Awesome!” Jungkook grinned and high-fived his two classmates.

“Do you know where Filch is?” Yoongi asked.

“Based on his yelling, he’s looking in the wrong place,” Taehyung snickered. “We heard him heading to the Kitchens. He can barely see anything downstairs because of all the smoke.”

“Yeah, I thought it was just a stinkbomb,” Yoongi said. “But Namjoon made some kind of smoking stinkbomb.”

“I honestly didn’t think it would smoke,” Namjoon confessed. “I think I added too many Salamander Eggshells.”

“It doesn’t matter, the smoke gives us extra cover,” Hoseok said. “Now, let’s pack some papers!”

“Yeah!” everyone cheered and followed him down the stairs.

…

“Alright, is Filch still out of sight?” Namjoon asked. The seven of them were back in the detention room with all the stacks of papers and everything.

“Yeah, I think so,” Seokjin said, looking out the door one last time before closing it. “Anyway, let’s just hurry this up so Taehyung and Jimin have time to run back.”

“And then butterbeer!” Jungkook cheered.

“And then butterbeer,” Hoseok agreed. “Alright, so we just say _‘Pack’_ right?”

“That should do it,” Yoongi nodded before pointing his wand at a stack of parchment. _“Pack!”_ he waved his wand and the parchment flew into a nearby empty box, filing itself neatly.

“Awesome!!” Jimin grinned and waved his wand out as well. “We’ll be done in no time!” He pointed his wand at another stack of parchment and uttered “ _Pack!_ ” before watching them being carefully filed away as well. Altogether, it took the seven of them less than 3 minutes to do Filch’s task. The room which was full of the stacks of paper and parchments was now clean and empty except for the filled boxes on the floor.

“Team work makes the dream work,” Jungkook cheered and high-fived Seokjin.

“I actually understood what you said for once,” his hyung laughed.

“Time for you two to go back now,” Namjoon said as he handed his wand over to Jimin. “Will you two be fine?”

“Yeah, as long as nothing wrong happens like Filch suddenly walking out of the kitchen,” Taehyung shrugged.

“I’ll come by the office after a few minutes,” Hoseok said. “Filch needs to know we did our job,” he grinned and handed his wand over to Jimin as well.

“Alright, we’ll see you guys soon,” Jimin waved as he stuffed everyone else’s wands back into his pocket. Taehyung accompanied him to the door and the two left the room.

“Man, this is the best detention I’ve ever been too,” Taehyung grinned as he skipped to Filch’s room. Jimin nodded in agreement but stopped once he heard a pair of footsteps down the hallway.

“Wait! Come back!” Jimin hissed and pulled Taehyung with him to duck behind a wall. He gestured for Taehyung to be quiet and listened in to the sound.

“Stupid, filthy, students messing up the castle. I’m oughta throw them in the lake, feed them to the werewolves or something,” they heard someone mutter.

“’Filch,’” Taehyung mouthed, staring at Jimin with wide eyes. The two of them peeked behind the wall and true enough, they saw the Hogwarts caretaker stalking towards his office room. He was wearing nose plugs and Jimin would have laughed if he wasn’t hiding from Filch.

“What do we do?” Jimin whispered. Taehyung bit his lip in thought before grabbing something out of his pocket. A Dung Bomb.

“This should work to distract him for a bit,” Taehyung whispered back before giving it to Jimin. “Here, you’re the Quidditch Chaser.” Jimin nodded, took the Dung Bomb from Taehyung, before throwing it across the hallway where it exploded immediately.

“AHHH WHO DID THAT?!” Filch yelled. Taehyung and Jimin ducked behind the wall again as the Caretaker turned around. “I know someone else is here! Come out, come out wherever you are!” he called out.

“We’ve got to keep distracting him,” Taehyung whispered. “I’ll distract him and run off to the other side while you get to the office.”

“But what about you?” Jimin protested.

“I’ll try to find my way back,” Taehyung said. “If I don’t make it, you and Jungkook have to name your firstborn after me.”

“But Taehyung—” Jimin protested again but Taehyung put up the hood of his cloak and tied his scarf tightly around his mouth.

“Fly, you fools,” he said before running off in the other direction. “COME AND GET IT FILCH!” Jimin heard him yell along with the sound of another Dung Bomb being set off.

“YOU! COME BACK HERE!” Filch yelled and ran after Taehyung. The coast was clear after that and Jimin ran quickly to the office.

“I hope your crazy plan works, Taehyung.”

…

“COME AND GET IT FILCH!” Taehyung yelled before throwing another Dung Bomb down the hallway.

“YOU COME BACK HERE!” he heard Filch yell back. Taehyung ran with all his might, looking for any place for him to hide in. Unfortunately, all he could see were more paintings on the walls and nothing else. ‘Aww man, I need to hide,’ Taehyung mentally groaned as he kept on running, huffing and puffing as he did so. He secretly wished Jungkook were around to do the running work.

“I’M GOING TO GET YOU AND YOU’LL BE SORRY FOR IT!” he heard Filch yell as he caught up. Then, up ahead, Taehyung spotted what appeared to be an old broom closet. He willed his feet to run faster before cramming himself inside the closet and shutting the door. Outside, he heard Filch run past the broom closet, still cursing and yelling as he did so. Taehyung waited for a few more minutes before slowly opening the door. He checked to see if the coast was clear before walking down the hallway. ‘Alright Taehyung, now you just have to go back to the office and pretend like—’

“Meow.”

Taehyung stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to find Mrs. Norris looking up at him. ‘Shit,’ he mentally cursed. He didn’t account for Mrs. Norris. That only meant Filch would be just right around the corner.

“So! There you are!” Taehyung looked up to find Filch sneering at him from the end of the hallway. “I’ve got you know, student. You were the one who dropped that stinkbomb, weren’t you?” Filch inched toward him. Thinking fast, Taehyung grabbed another Dung Bomb from his pocket and aimed it at Mrs. Norris.

“Stay back!” Taehyung yelled, trying to lower his voice just a bit so that Filch wouldn’t recognize it. “Or else Mrs. Norris gets it! I heard cats have a more sensitive sense of smell than humans do.”

“You won’t dare…” Filch sneered. If Taehyung wasn’t wearing a scarf around his mouth, Filch would have been able to see him smirking with satisfaction.

“Oh, I would,” he said before throwing the Dung Bomb directly at the cat. All he could hear was Mrs. Norris yowling and Filch yelling angrily because he ran directly back to Filch’s office. While running, he threw the rest of the Dung Bombs over his shoulder to get rid of the evidence. Once he saw the office door in sight, Taehyung ran faster and threw open the door.

“Taehyung!” Jimin grinned and leapt off his seat. “You made it!”

“Yeah…” Taehyung wheezed and caught his breath. He pulled his hood back and removed his scarf from his face while sitting down on the chair in front of Filch’s desk. “I just… made it. Can you lock the door again?”

“Yeah,” Jimin nodded. He went to the door and uttered _“Reversio”_ as he waved his wand on the lock. The lock clicked back into place and Jimin returned his wand to the drawer in Filch’s desk. “Try not to look like you’ve run a marathon or something,” Jimin said to Taehyung.

“Believe me, I’m trying my best,” Taehyung huffed and wiped the sweat off his forehead. Suddenly, the door swung open. Taehyung and Jimin sat up straight in their seats as Filch walked in carrying Mrs. Norris who still smelled strongly of Dung Bombs.

“You two…” he wheezed, pointing at the two of them. “You two dropped the stinkbomb and threw Dung Bombs around earlier, didn’t you?”

“How could we, Filch?” Jimin asked innocently. “We were just sitting here like you told us to.”

“Yeah, the door was locked so how could we leave?” Taehyung pointed out, acting innocent like Jimin. “And the stinkbomb was dropped while you were punishing us here so how could we have done it?”

“You must have found some way to—”

“Mr. Filch?” Hoseok stepped into the room.

“Now what do you want, boy?” Filch snapped at him.

“I came to tell you that we finished filing the papers like you told us to,” Hoseok said. Taehyung bit his lip to keep himself from grinning.

“Does that mean we’re free?” Jimin asked.

“You finished?” Filch frowned. “Impossible!”

“You can look around if you don’t believe me,” Hoseok shrugged. Filch walked towards him.

“If you are making this up, you’ll join Taehyung and Jimin here,” he said before walking ahead back to the detention room.

“We’re home free, you two,” Hoseok grinned and high-fived the two of them before they walked to keep up with Filch. The caretaker threw open the door to the detention room and stared wide-eyed at the clean room.

“Oh, hi Mr. Filch! We finished our job already,” Seokjin greeted him.

“Wow guys, you worked fast,” Taehyung grinned at his friends.

“Well, it took a lot of working and focusing, but nothing like a little hard work to get things done,” Yoongi added, smirking slightly at Jimin who rolled his eyes and smiled.

“Yeah, while working I really had time to reflect about my actions,” Jungkook added in mock-seriousness. “I guess, it really was wrong for me and my friends to stay late in the Forbidden Forest and I think we really deserved this detention.”

“Yeah…” everyone nodded in agreement.

“Y-you…  all of you…” Filch stammered. “You used magic, didn’t you?”

“But you took our wands from us,” Namjoon explained. “How could we have used magic?”

“Oh! Can we have those wands back Mr. Filch?” Seokjin asked politely. “I need to work on my Transfiguration homework. Saturday is my studying day, you see?” Filch glared at all of them again before turning around and stalking back to his office. The seven of them looked at each other before bursting out laughing.

“Now _that_ was a very successful plan,” Hoseok grinned.

“Let’s celebrate!” Jungkook cheered. “Butterbeer is on Yoongi-hyung!”

“Hey! I never said anything about that!” Yoongi protested. “And quiet down first. Filch is coming back.”

“Here!” Filch scowled and shoved their wands at them. “You may have finished this detention but next time, I won’t go easy on you all. I’ll be watching you.”

“And we’ll try to work hard again,” Namjoon bowed. “Until the next detention, Mr. Filch,” he waved.

…

“And then when Filch saw me he was like ‘You won’t dare’ and I was like ‘Hell yeah I will’ and then I threw the Dung Bomb right at Mrs. Norris and then I ran back to the office and then he came back after and—”

“Mrs. Norris totally smelled like Dung Bombs.”

“Yeah! But then she kind of smelled bad from the beginning anyway.”

“Not bad,” Namjoon grinned. “That was quick-thinking using a Dung Bomb to distract him, Taehyung.”

“That was a close call though,” Seokjin said. “It’s a good thing we’re all here though.” After leaving the detention room, Yoongi led them to the passageway that led to Hogsmeade. After half an hour, they managed to get a spot in The Three Broomsticks and order several bottles of butterbeer.

“That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be careful though. We’ll need to get back to the castle before dark so that Filch doesn’t get suspicious again,” Yoongi said. Nobody spoke up. “Or… we could be really reckless and break out of detention again if Filch catches us.”

“That sounds more like us,” Hoseok laughed. “If we did it once, we could do it again.”

“We’ve got Genius Namjoon on our side,” Jimin said proudly. Namjoon smiled shyly.

“Oh! Is it time for us to come up with a nickname for our group?” Taehyung piped up.

“Do we still need one?” Yoongi asked.

“Of course!” Jungkook exclaimed. “How about… Detention Squad?”

“Nah, it makes us sound like we love detention,” Seokjin shook his head.

“What if we just put the first letters of our name together,” Hoseok suggested.

“That might sound lame,” Jimin said. “How about something with the word ‘butterbeer’ in it? Since we’re drinking butterbeer to celebrate.”

“Butterbeer Team Squad!” Taehyung yelled.

“Why is there a team and a squad?” Yoongi asked, looking at him with his famous ‘What the hell is in your head?’ look.

“Because we’re a team and a squad,” Jimin added.

“It sounds kind of stupid but then so are we,” Namjoon shrugged and sipped his butterbeer.

“Butterbeer Team Squad. Butterbeer Team Squad,” Hoseok repeated. “It is kind of growing on me.”

“And it sounds catchy too,” Jungkook said. “Everyone who likes ‘Butterbeer Team Squad’ raise your bottle!” Everyone except for Yoongi raised their bottle. They all looked at Yoongi expectantly until finally he gave in and raised his bottle too.

“Yay!!” Taehyung cheered.

“Let’s toast to that,” Seokjin said. Everyone agreed and clinked their bottles in the center.

“To Butterbeer Team Squad!”

“Why don’t we just use the acronym?” Yoongi suggested. “BTS?”

“Eh, it’s not catchy enough,” Namjoon said. Yoongi shrugged and drank his butterbeer.

“Fair enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading this guys! I'm writing a JungkookxReader one-shot next so stay tuned for that!
> 
> Follow me at [@btshogwartsauheadcanons](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/btshogwartsauheadcanons) for more BTS Hogwarts AU stuff

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me at @btshogwartsauheadcanons if you want more BTS x Hogwarts AU stuff!


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